The time after my first trip was exciting for me. Every day I discovered anew that my senses worked. Little things suddenly delighted me. I was grateful that I could hear, smell, perceive. My morning coffee filled me with great joy. The colors seemed brighter, friendlier. The nature around me, this wonderful Switzerland, suddenly caught my attention and I could enjoy the view of the alpine panorama. It was all so overwhelming to me that I would have loved to talk about it and only it all day. My euphoria seemed a little disconcerting to members of my family.
“What does he want now?” they may have thought to themselves. The daily routine took hold. My son had schoolwork to do, stretching towards the ceiling and learning vocabulary, my wife was busy every day with her issues from work and I sat there with a colorful bouquet of experiences and hardly anyone to follow. I was all the more pleased to be looked after within the study and to be able to talk to Markus on a regular basis. He understood me, could understand what was happening to me and could support me in my transformation. After all, my family was used to living with a depressed, sick man in a bad mood. That I was so suddenly different, that many old behaviors had simply fallen away from me, they couldn’t understand that so quickly. Therefore, there were always tensions and misunderstandings during this time.
Hej, I had plowed through my mental landscape in a supersonic plane called LSD and cleared up things for myself that others might have to spend years in therapy for. It was obvious that wife and child were speechless and breathless and that our family system still had to re-form.
So the weeks passed and it was time for me to prepare for the next LSD dose. I felt that now I knew what I was getting into. As an “initiate” I now knew my way around and was looking forward to the coming experience. Since the trial was double-blind, but it was clear that the four doses would be either the placebo in sequence or LSD in sequence, I knew for sure this time that I would be given Verum.
During the train ride to Solothurn I felt a little queasy in the stomach, but the anticipation prevailed.