I can still remember the days after my first LSD experience. Not only was I feeling good, I felt at one with the world and wanted to share that exuberant feeling with everyone close to me. I wanted to express love, give hugs, share flashes of inspiration, exchange feelings, and reminisce about travel. My depression was blown away, my need to share enormous.

My wife, however, found it rather exhausting. She hadn’t heard music like I had or greeted dancing plants. She just went to work and when she came home I told her all the things that moved me. At times she seemed irritated and could not follow me either. For me, it was also gratifying to be able to sleep again. How precious the ability to sleep is, one knows only after sleepless nights full of musings. So I also looked forward to my bed every night. I knew I was going to lie down and just fall asleep. My dreams were more colorful and vivid than before.

All of this may have shaped my expectations before the next “trip”. I was so looking forward to this second experience and felt disillusioned afterwards. In my opinion, this second contact with Verum was not a great gain. My wife, however, said that I had traveled back to earth out of euphoria and then arrived back in the land of men. In retrospect, I also see the second dose of LSD as a big win. So much has changed fundamentally.

The tide has swept the beach of my psychic structure clean and brand new flotsam and jetsam now lies on my shores. I look out over the sea of my experiences and see new islands opening up to me. I’m glad about that.

The one island is called “God experience.” It is absolutely new territory for me, since I have been an avowed agnostic all my life. The substance made me experience something that reinforced my belief in a higher power, in something that lovingly holds the universe together. For me it is the source of all origin, including my own. He gives me strength and hope that I am part of this power from which I come and towards which I live.

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